Dark Souls: in Summary

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PlagueOfGripes Tumblr: http://plagueofgripes.tumblr.com/ Long ago, during the Age of Ancients, the Dragons ruled a boring, one dimensional setting. The Dragon version of Tolkien was said to have once put to pen the idea of a tree that was sort of a brownish gray, instead of just gray. He was immediately executed for his dangerous, heretical ideas. It would take the four Lord Souls - weird spirit things that some naked zombies found in a fire - to put an end to this era of stupidity. The Souls transformed these naked, on-fire zombies into naked, on-fire humans that would quickly learn just how on-fire they truly were. The Furtive Pygmy was the least popular of all the four Lords. He was slammed against many lockers, and was totally turned down by the Witch of Izalith when he asked her to prom. But the Pygmy understood how to play the long con, and set a dark plan in motion: to have sex with countless numbers of zombies. Like, thousands of them. No butterface was too stank for the Furtive Dick, in those days. From this long period of weird, secret corpse fucking, there arose all of humanity. All humans today are descendents of a single corpse fucker. The gods - descendents of the other three Lords - were totally freaked out by this. From their big ass ancient city, they would rule over this sea of incestuous corpse fucking murder-happy pedophile weirdos, who also were all midgets. This would later be known as the glorious Age of Fire. Eventually, the gods would leave the capital of this age of horrifying sexual frenzy. Human historians would be totally confused as to why. And so was set, the stage for the possible beginning of a new, Dark Age. Where supposedly it'll still be corpse fucking, but without light? I guess? Set forth, noble sex weirdo, to claim your birthright and fulfill the dark wishes of the Furtive Pygmy. It'll be rad. Probably.

Comments

1. Sigh. All of history leads up to every moment. Thats how chronological progression works.
2. i keep on rewatching this because the dragons make me crack up hahahaha
3. nice tits bro
   xdxd
4. 1.045 patch saaave us
5. Dark Souls 3 lore has, sadly, proven that Solaire is NOT Gwyn's firstborn. The Nameless King is the former God of War. Sad.
6. NooooouuuueeFAGAHGASJBWObfkoa
7. i don even play Dark Souls but im fairly entertained ;)
8. I can just imagine my character sitting in the undead asylum making fart songs
9. "He's putting his Abyss in my Catacombs!"
   You Got Filled
10. The Gwynerear is a lie.
    
    Seriously, you use a camera mod and look behind her... nuthin going on in the back. Unrendered.
11. 4:56-5:21 Fucking hilarious.
12. he said you three but there were only two others with him. what's the deal with that?
13. THIS IS FAKE!! THE CHOSEN UNDEAD CAN'T HAVE A BEARD IN DS1!!!
14. ya know what you guys need?
15. see if no no no to that sexual Artorias Amanda stuff also it's not even 100% accurate to the real story line Dark Souls Milton sexual stuff Artorias Artorias is a great Fighter character Dark Souls don't make fun of them
16. Sunlight4Life
17. dude we still wait for sequel
18. "Oh god, he's putting his abyss in my catacombs!" 😂😂😂😂😂
19. what is the ne of that song...soooo good
20. I use 'That's dumb, you're dumb" in my everyday life.
    Thanks Plague.