Quadzilla - The Cerf Bennetts

This song was written by Luke Doyle and Shaun Tanner on a lovely Sunday afternoon. The Cerf Bennetts had organised to 'have a jam' prior to the Sunday, yet Tyler Walshe (drummer) failed to show up due to football committments. It was then decided by Doyle and Tanner that there needs to be some action taken. Musical action. For those of you who have never met Tyler Walshe, he has the hind legs of a horse and calves like Popeye's forearms. Luke Doyle: Vocals/Guitar Shaun Tanner: Editing Tyler Walshe: Not present/Absolutely no influence Lyrics Walshey, this song's for you You missed band practice and your head stinks too Walshey said, "Let's jam tomorrow" I said,"Yeah." Shauny followed I said, "What time?" He said, "Is 10 OK?" I said, "That's fine." Shauny said, "Hooray! 10 will be great. I can't wait Walshey" Walshey's coach rang him at 10 o'clock "Come on Walshey, get on your footy socks." Then he said, "I hope your not busy today." Walshey said, "No. I'd love to play." It's not like I got band practice with the Cerf Bennetts or anything Walshey said, "Hey coach, there's someone on the team I have feelings for, if you know what I mean. Coach, do you ever think about me at night? When I'm thinking of you, oh yeah, I feel alright." The coach said, "What!?" Walshey got embarrassed, "Nothing coach, gotta go now. I think the toast is burning, I can smell it. Goodbye coach." Just because you got the biggest quads in the nation Doesn't mean you can avoid an obligation Surely your calves are big enough in size They can surely do two things at a time Walshey have your calves ever taken over your brain? Do they get into your head, drive you insane Surely those things are too big to be calves now Surely they've grown into cows now Is the storage facility inside of them? Are women really attracted to your legs? You could do 1000 calf raises in a day How many buckets of shaving cream, do you need to shave? If you dropkicked your opponent they would die But you wouldn't do that because you're an OK guy When you actually decide to show up for band practice, you pig Just because you got the biggest quads in the nation Doesn't mean you can avoid an obligation Surely your calves are big enough in size They can surely do two things at the same time Walshey and his coach went on an adventure To Coffs Harbour, there they ventured They arrived there late, late, late at night Walshey's calves continued to burn bright Walshey and his coach went out to the lookout bay Walshey put his arms around him, "There's something I gotta say. Hey coach it's about time me and you were honest with eachother." The coach just nodded, then they made love, yeah Oh at the lookout point under the stars at night Oh Walshey and his coach feeling alright Walshey gets back from his trip, he's acting funny I say, "Walshey, what's wrong honey?" He smiled and said, "I had the best trip ever. I heard about that song you wrote, you boys are real clever." Walshey wins the coaches award every year since that trip When we talk about Coffs Harbour he trembles in his upper lip TW: Get the hell off my back. Shut up you guys Dunno what you all been hearing. Y'all full of lies LD: How come you and your coach get on like a house on fire? TW: How come nothing. Doyle's a big fit liar. LD: How come you keep denying it so much Walshey ST: Why you being so damn sensitive. So... TW: Because you're just spreading crap about me LD: I didn't say nothing. It was all Shaun! ST: I didn't say diddly! LD: See, he didn't say anything either. About you and your coach. Going to the lookout point. Making love. Under the sweet romantic stars. You and your coach all alone in the dark. Oh yeah. Walshey, you got the biggest quads in the world. Yeah, Walshey, you got dam big calves. Walshey you're so dam paranoid. Yeah! Check out our (almost) Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:CerfBennetts Fan mail can be sent to CerfBennetts@gmail.com

Comments

1. Ohh that was hilarious! Good job.